The importance of building trust
The basis of all successful relationships is TRUST. The more trust there is the more secure, rewarding and satisfying the relationship will be.
As you work, live and communicate with others, the key to achieving greater success is to proactively build trust.
The relationship bank account
This is based on the work of Stephen Covey, the developer of the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. He calls this concept the Emotional Bank Account.
You can measure the level of trust in a relationship in the same way as you measure the balance in your bank account. Just as you have deposits and withdrawals in your financial bank account, there are also deposits and withdrawals in your relationships. You can think of this as your Relationship Bank Account.
What are deposits and withdrawals?
Deposits build, repair and increase trust in a relationship.
Withdrawals breakdown and lessen trust in a relationship.
Here are some examples of typical Deposits and Withdrawals.
Seek first to understand
Show kindness, courtesy and respect
Be loyal to those absent
Set clear expectations
Assume you understand
Show unkindness, discourtesy and disrespect
Be disloyal, bad mouth
Create unclear expectations
Be proud and arrogant
Give no feedback or evaluate character
Hold a grudge
© 2005 Franklin Covey
The trick here is to work out for each of your relationships what constitutes a deposit and what constitutes a withdrawal. What might be a deposit for one person may be a withdrawal for another.
Given that you want to build a strong Relationship Bank Account, it is important to;
1. Know what constitutes a deposit to the other person
2. Be sincere and consistent in your deposits
3. Make small deposits over time to build large account balances
4. Remember, it may take 5 deposits to make up for one withdrawal
5. Understand what would be a withdrawal to the other person
6. Avoid making withdrawals.
Activity for you
Here’s a quick 4 step process to work through;
Step 1. Think of a workplace relationship
Step 2. If a relationship can extend from -500 to 0 and then to 500+, identify where the relationship is currently. Ie What is the trust balance of this relationship at the moment?
Step 3. List three things you think the person you identified would consider deposits
Step 4. List three things you think the person you identified would consider withdrawals.
Step 5. Apply the Relationship Bank Account to this relationship and watch the trust build.
Remember, the Relationship Bank Account applies to all relationships. Small consistent deposits will build trust and help to maintain your relationship, allowing for small unintended withdrawals to occur from time to time while maintaining the balance of the relationship (ie the trust in the relationship)