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How to Build Effective Relationships

  • 2 February 2017
  • Author: Jo Eady
  • Number of views: 655
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How to Build Effective Relationships

The importance of building trust

The basis of all successful relationships is TRUST.  The more trust there is the more secure, rewarding and satisfying the relationship will be.

As you work, live and communicate with others, the key to achieving greater success is to proactively build trust. 

The relationship bank account

This is based on the work of Stephen Covey, the developer of the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.  He calls this concept the Emotional Bank Account.  

You can measure the level of trust in a relationship in the same way as you measure the balance in your bank account.  Just as you have deposits and withdrawals in your financial bank account, there are also deposits and withdrawals in your relationships.  You can think of this as your Relationship Bank Account.    

What are deposits and withdrawals?

Deposits

Deposits build, repair and increase trust in a relationship.

Withdrawals

Withdrawals breakdown and lessen trust in a relationship.

Here are some examples of typical Deposits and Withdrawals.

Deposits

Withdrawals

Seek first to understand

Show kindness, courtesy and respect

Keep promises

Be loyal to those absent

Set clear expectations

Apologise

Give feedback

Forgive

Assume you understand

Show unkindness, discourtesy and disrespect

Break promises

Be disloyal, bad mouth

Create unclear expectations

Be proud and arrogant

Give no feedback or evaluate character

Hold a grudge

© 2005 Franklin Covey

The trick here is to work out for each of your relationships what constitutes a deposit and what constitutes a withdrawal.    What might be a deposit for one person may be a withdrawal for another.

 

Summary

Given that you want to build a strong Relationship Bank Account, it is important to;

1. Know what constitutes a deposit to the other person

2. Be sincere and consistent in your deposits

3. Make small deposits over time to build large account balances

4. Remember, it may take 5 deposits to make up for one withdrawal

5. Understand what would be a withdrawal to the other person

6. Avoid making withdrawals.      

 

Activity for you

Here’s a quick 4 step process to work through;

Step 1.  Think of a workplace relationship

Step 2.  If a relationship can extend from -500 to 0 and then to 500+, identify where the relationship is currently.  Ie What is the trust balance of this relationship at the moment?

Step 3.  List three things you think the person you identified would consider deposits

Step 4.  List three things you think the person you identified would consider withdrawals.

Step 5.  Apply the Relationship Bank Account to this relationship and watch the trust build.

Remember, the Relationship Bank Account applies to all relationships.  Small consistent deposits will build trust and help to maintain your relationship, allowing for small unintended withdrawals to occur from time to time while maintaining the balance of the relationship (ie the trust in the relationship)                 

 

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Jo Eady

Jo EadyJo Eady

Jo Eady has been Director at RuralScope for almost 20 years. Her passion for helping people in agriculture and rural industries in all aspects of leadership flows through in the expert facilitation she provides.

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Full biography

Full biography

Jo Eady has been Director at RuralScope for almost 20 years. Her passion for helping people in agriculture and rural industries in all aspects of leadership flows through in the expert facilitation she provides. In addition, Jo is a strategist, coach and educator supporting individuals, groups, organisations and industries in the development of their people. Results include increased leadership and productivity via customised people capability plans. Jo is an optimist, avid reader and loves to travel. She enjoys playing tennis, gardening and cooking up a storm for family and friends.

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