Tough conversations like succession planning, which house to live in on farm when married, changes to crop rotations and sheep versus cropping etc are a necessary part of life. And especially so in many farming businesses where everyone works and lives together. Yet it is common for us to not have these tough conversations, in fact many of us will go out of our way to avoid them. Having the conversation is uncomfortable, risky and unpredictable. In the short term it is easy to turn blind eye and do nothing. But, in the long run, short term pain is worth the long term gain. It is important to speak up and speak your truth!
"It's not the issues that arise which cause the problems on our relationship. It's how we deal with them."
And surrounding this can be the full range of emotions like sadness, fear, anger, shame, guilt, rejections, embarrassment and so on. It is absolutely true that issues that aren't talked about get acted out.
Your probably know this feeling. You get weighed down. Likely, this is a result of not speaking up, not speaking your truth. We bury our emotions and then over time, no matter how much we may feel like we have moved on, these emotions will surface and we can even behave 'badly' as a result. Families and all the relationships in them are often breeding grounds for these feelings / issues. Warrell states, "our lack of courage to lay what we're feeling on the table at the outset ultimately damages trust and drives deep wedges into the space once occupied by trust, respect, collaboration, intimacy and affection."
The quality of the conversations you have will lay the foundation for the results you create in your life. Speaking truth and kindness builds relationships which grows trust, expanding influence and leading to actions that create outcomes. yet it all begins with having the courage to say what needs to be said..... with less fear, pride, arrogance and ego.
I call the triangle developed by Margie Warrell The Speak Up Triangle. This model has its place in all relationships from personal to professional, home to workplace and even to the highest levels of decision making.
Speak up, speak with courage and always from your heart. You will be pleased you did!